Dear Rockets,

I love you guys.  Good, clean love. Without utensils. To that end:

• I've been a Rockets fan from the time I was little, and you called my all-time favorite player Akeem Olajuwon's name on draft day:

 "How did we not beat NC State? Seriously?"

• stuck by you as Akeem added an "H" to his name and and became one of the most dominant inside forces of all time;

Here is your jock back Patrick.  Thanks for playing.

•  cheered for the back-to-back titles you brought back to Houston, especially since my hometown had never won anything before then;

Not just the U.S., but the WORLD.  Suck it Ghana!

• argued the genuineness of those titles to all the people who said "You never would have won it if Jordan hadn't gone off to play baseball";

 "I left to play baseball to avoid losing to those Rockets teams. Truth yo!"

• defended the moniker "Clutch City" even when you guys became highly un-clutch in the years after Hakeem retired;

What's the statute of limitations on clutch-ness?

• cheered for the Francis/Mobley squad even though Francis' usage rate was approximately 97% (editors' note: Francis REALLY liked dribbling the ball.  Like, a LOT)

Francis' motto?  "When in doubt, pass to yourself."

• continued cheering even though you made the players wear pajamas for years;

 (and ruined another possible title run by letting Matt Maloney start at PG)

• rooted on the McGrady/Yao teams that teased us with a number of amazing moments (including McGrady scoring 13 points in 33 seconds), but ultimately fell short year after year;

 Nothing snarky to add here.  This was incredible.

• still followed the team closely in Morey's early days, when the roster wasn't remotely an actual team, but a collection of "assets";

"Super awkward picture take 3.  Could you guys spread a little farther apart? That's great!"

•  Watched while Harden and his new teammates went through the usual growing pains;

Harden in his "Tenacious D" Period. Such lateral movement!

• rooted the squad on last year only to see you fall in a hard fought Round 1 battle to Portland on a Lillard miracle;

 As always, there was Parsons behind and one step too slow...

•  basked in this season where you guys started scalding (19-5) and have stayed hot (currently in the 3 seed in a loaded west);

WESTERN		W	L	PCT	GB	HOME	ROAD	DIV	CONF	PF	PA	DIFF	STRK	L10
1	Golden State	50	12	.806	-	27-2	23-10	10-3	30-7	109.6	99.4	+10.3	Won 4	7-3
2	Memphis	45	18	.714	5 ½	24-7	21-11	7-6	28-13	99.3	95.5	+3.8	Won 1	6-4
3	Houston	43	20	.683	7 ½	24-9	19-11	5-6	24-14	103.3	99.7	+3.6	Won 2	7-3
4	Portland	41	20	.672	8 ½	26-6	15-14	8-3	23-14	102.4	97.4	+5.0	Lost 1	7-3
5	LA Clippers	41	23	.641	10	24-9	17-14	8-3	27-12	106.0	100.0	+6.0	Won 1	6-4
6	San Antonio	40	23	.635	10 ½	24-7	16-16	4-6	22-18	101.6	97.4	+4.2	Won 6	6-4
7	Dallas	41	25	.621	11	21-11	20-14	6-6	21-17	104.3	100.8	+3.5	Lost 1	5-5
8	Oklahoma City	35	28	.556	15 ½	21-8	14-20	7-5	19-19	102.3	99.6	+2.7	Won 1	7-3

• then was fired up to see you take down the Cavaliers who were on fire coming into town;

Josh Smith says I can't shoot but I can block shots!

• It was a nice win against a good team.  Definitely be fired up.  But you decide to tweet this out? Really?

There is one King James.  He's going to be in the Hall of Fame and is likely going to be considered a top-5 all time player.  He has 2 titles, 5 Finals appearances and 4 MVP awards.  Meanwhile  the last time you guys were truly relevant and played in the Finals Lebron was 11.  Since your last title you've won 35 playoff games in 20 years.  Lebron, in half the time, won 97.

I'm all for confidence and get that it's a "fun" tweak after a win.  If this had happened after you won a series against him? Awesome.  After a Finals' game? Sure!  But when you do it after a game in early May?  You look like a not-ready-for-prime-time team who is desperate to be noticed as a contender.  How about you win a playoff series or two before you start saying you're better than the best player since MJ? I'm rooting for you, but dial it down a notch.